To those older than me (and by year, not months -.-"), have you realized that there comes a point of time in your teenage life when you're so sick of everyone around you? You'll always want to be alone all the time. The penknife is your best friend and you'll slit yourself to sleep every night. You feel that you need a boyfriend desperately. You walk alone during family outings. You listen to your iPod while having lunch. You argue with your parents all the time. You describe yourself as emo as if that it's the only word in the dictionary. You pretend. You're easily influenced. You stick with bad habits. Most of all, you rather be with your friends.
Well, I know. Because I've been though it. When I was thirteen, I do slit myself due to peer pressure. Almost everyone did it. It seemed like an art. Till the following year when we suddenly stopped and heard that our juniors did the same thing as us when we were their age and we thought that it was a stupid thing to do. I used to feel that nobody understood me till I had the random urge to tell my mum everything that I've been through. I realized that even if she didn't understood me, at least she was there to listen. Also back then, having a boyfriend seemed like you have the whole world. I can't elaborate more on that. Yes, I argued with my parents all the time. Shan't elaborate on that either. I loved pretending. I felt like I wasn't good enough and I wanted to be like the people around me. I do have bad habits like spouting vulgarities and yes, I rather be with my friends more than to be with anyone else.
My sister is currently going through this stage now and it just seems so hard to talk to her. I do understand what she's been though especially after the shit she's been through in primary school. Oh gawd, I remembered primary school like it was yesterday. It was hell. I didn't care what stream I'd get into as long as I'm out. I wasn't a well liked person even until now and the funny thing is that I can swear that I didn't do anything to anyone. Well, that's over now.
But when I look at my sister, she's like the replica of me. And the worst thing is that, I can't do anything about it.
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