Friday, 22 July 2011

New blogskin, at least read the profile


Yes, I have thalassemia. Thank goodness it's a minor. If you've checked it online, it's a blood disorder passed down through families and in my case, I got it from my dad. It started when I was 12 going 13. I saw brochures about it on the kitchen bartop and browsed through it. I knew dad had it but I didn't know that it could be passed down till my mom told me that my sister and I have to get our bloods checked. I was fucking twelve and I thought I could die if I got it since most of dad's physical traits are passed down to me. So during the check up, the doctor explained to us what the hell was that about and I obviously do not understand. Again, I was fucking twelve. Going thirteen. Either way, I was worried. I didn't want to get it so badly yet I'm not surprised if I have.

It took a long time for the results to be released and there was this period the next year when my headaches start coming. I stopped going to school for awhile (no, it was not migraine yet) and I only started visiting the doctor after three days. He said it was a normal symptom of puberty/menstruation/idk etc etc. Anyways after that my mom had a chat with the doctor and asked me to leave the room. When she got out she told me I got thalassemia. She actually went to ask the doctor if me having thalassemia has anything to do with the headaches, luckily not. It hasn't really affected me that much eversince because mom emphasized that it was just a minor.

Just a few seconds ago I researched on it and learned about the symptoms and risk factors. I remembered the doctor saying that majority of the population has it. What worries me more is when I marry someone who has it too and my child will have a major. It's to early to think so but I'll admit it. I'm scared.

Nonetheless, I can worry about it at more on a later date.

About the other things on my profile, it's true. I got to know that I have phantom text syndrome just this year and I've been a caffeine addict since late last year during my N level period. My migraine came frequently but I had to stay awake to study so I thought coffee might help and sometimes, I drink two cups per night. My mom even had to hide them. When I go to Starbucks, I had to order a coffee-free drink. I tried red bull but it's not the same.

I shan't dwell on the other descriptions. It sounds cheesy but it's true. I hate myself. I try to change but there are some events which just makes me feel this way. My friends avoid me sometimes and I have to pretend to be happy, for the sake of our friendship and if it means we get to be together together, I don't mind. I don't pretend to be perfect. I just pretend to be someone else so that people will like me because when I'm myself, I screw things up.


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