Sunday, 16 March 2014

What Happens When Love Is Gone

I've been getting a lot of asks about my love life. I stopped answering those questions because we weren't official and I don't want people to think that we are. 

I'm probably not allowed to say this here, but I feel like I have to - not to please those who asked me, but to make me feel at ease. I'm not gonna publicize this post on twitter. So this post goes to my regular readers, or all those bloghoppers who just happened to stumble across my blog. And for you to understand what I'm going to say, I would suggest that you read this article first. 

Like Kim and Seth, Ridhuan and I are very different people. His private and I would usually announce everything to the rest of the world. I'm a pretty YOLO person, while his the careful one. His forward looking while I would rather go with the flow. His an engineer, I'm a nurse. His the only child in the family, and I'm the oldest. His into action movies and I'm into romance. 

I could spend all day typing out the comparisons between us two. The only similarity we had is that we love going to coffee bean, and that we liked each other. We wouldn't really say it out loud, but yeah we do. At least, I hoped he did. 

Before Ridhuan came into my life, I was happy, and it was a selfish kind of happiness. Everything I did, was for my own. Then I met him and I felt a different kind of happiness. He was my everyday sunshine and my first for many things - my first real kiss, my first valentine and probably my first love. But what I failed to realize is that with so much happiness, there can be consequences as well. 

In Seth's article, we all learned that to love someone is to let someone fly and have faith that they would return to you. And that's what I did. 

But it's a little different. Because maybe this time around, he won't come back.

Just yesterday, he said that he needed to reflect on himself and to just find out what's best for him. In other words, he needed time alone. 

The thing about us is that we already had plenty of time alone. During the past year, there were instances when we would stop talking, just to catch a breather. The longest we went without talking to each other was a month. I thought that amount of time was sufficient for both of us to just be our own person, but apparently not. 

Ridhuan is the kind of person who would bring out the best in everyone, and it was definitely calming to have such a person in one's life. Now, while both of us are apart, I can assure you that I will think of him. 

I guess faith works differently for both of us. Maybe we're destined to meet, just not to last. And as much as I wished that we could be together, well, we can't. And I hate that whatever Seth wrote in his article couldn't be applied fully in this situation. Ridhuan needed to fly on his own and I'm certainly not obligated to stop him from doing so. 

We've just been going around in circles, and I guess it's about time we stopped. 

So to those who finds in hard to let go of someone you just lost, here's something I saw at Syahidah's blog: 
Let us keep in mind that we can't force anyone to love us. We shouldn't beg someone to stay when they want to leave. However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.
 I can't guarantee that Ridhuan and I will find our way back to each other in the future. And if we don't, I'll always remember how we used to spend our evenings watching sunsets, or sipping our favourite beverage and making impromptu plans to watch movies. Most importantly, I will always wish the best for him

He pretty much defined me, but from here on out, I think I too have to be my own person. 

3 comments:

  1. This is really brave for you. I understand how hard this must have been. I don't know what you're going through, but I can assure you that things will be fine. Eventually. Whatever it is, take your time to move on. And at least try :)

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  2. I love this post!
    The boys I love are also always opposite of me. I can (or would rather not) love someone who is similar with me. I think the best thing about loving or finding someone opposite of you, is that you learn something new about you too. And you learn that you are willing to try something new, out of your comfort zone.

    Like I said, You are young, there is still so much to explore, to see, to try. Don't settle for the first one! When you meet the one, your heart will know. And if he is the one, he would not want or need to reflect on himself anymore!

    Hugz!

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  3. I love this post!
    The boys I love are also always opposite of me. I can (or would rather not) love someone who is similar with me. I think the best thing about loving or finding someone opposite of you, is that you learn something new about you too. And you learn that you are willing to try something new, out of your comfort zone.

    Like I said, You are young, there is still so much to explore, to see, to try. Don't settle for the first one! When you meet the one, your heart will know. And if he is the one, he would not want or need to reflect on himself anymore!

    Hugz!

    ReplyDelete