Somethings' really bother me. I actually know what it is. I'm trying so hard to ignore it but I just can't do it. This sucks.
It's killing me inside. I say things I don't mean and at the same time I do it for the better. I hate doing the right thing. It makes me miserable. Even if for a moment I had to bear with the pain, I'd rather not feel any pain at all.
Maybe I'm being too pessimistic. I tend to assume that things will never work out in the end. But it never does. I'm tired of falling and I'm tired of giving chances to everyone else. I don't know why I'm letting my past affect me so much but maybe what I experienced was hurtful enough to not believe in happy endings.
What I went through maybe nothing compared to what others have but for me, it's painful. It's easy for you to tell me to move on. I do want to move on more than anyone else in the world.
Enough of this.
This shall probably be one of my last posts about you. We barely talk nowadays so I'm gonna assume that you'll leave me one day. That's how it works isn't it? For the record, I never wanted you to meet someone new. I do want you to wait but I know it's something you can never do. You have no idea how free you are now and I don't want you to waste it on me. There are many other people out there for you as much as there is for me and I know that they're out there somewhere. This is gonna hurt but it's for a good cause. I wish you every happiness :]
xoxo
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