Sunday, 31 July 2011

I hate being at home right now.

Being at home sucks. It's like I can't do everything right. People expect me to appreciate what I have but they are never grateful for the things I do too. They think I do too little things. They think I'm rebellious. They think I complain too much. Speak for yourself.

I know other girls who are much more lazier and much more rebellious than me. There are minors who run away from home, get pregnant etc. Can you just be a little bit grateful that I'm not like them? Why do you think I go home late all the time? Because I hate being at home. Not that I don't love you. You have gave me more than enough and I understand that you want me to return the favour. But sometimes with the way you demand and all it makes me feel like I don't deserve anything from you.

Do you know how that feels? Do you know that everyday when you ask me to do a chore it makes me wonder if every first-born is a maid to every married couple. And sometimes when I finish a chore, you give me another one. And when I don't do it right, you'll yell. You say everyone makes mistakes but from the way I see it, it's like you're right all the time.

You tell me to be grateful. Are you grateful? I'm not expecting much. I just want the love you gave me seventeen years ago. I feel like I'm just an old chapter. I looked at the way you treat your younger nieces and nephews and grandnephews and grandnieces and it breaks my heart because it feels like you would rather have them because they're obviously a lighter burden than I am.

You think I'm dealing an easy life? I don't deny that what you've been through more than I have in the pass. But that was your past and please do not let it affect mine. I have problems too. At school, people judge and insult me and treat it as a joke. I had to tolerate every mean thing people said to me and just laugh about it but they don't know how much it hurts inside but that's okay because nobody is perfect nice and out of all people I was really hoping that you would understand. All the guys that I've met through social networks left me and I pretend that I'm doing fine but the thing is I am getting sick of people leaving me.

You're not the only one whose tired, I am too. So let's do us all a favour and leave each other alone and stop hurting each other.

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