Sunday, 13 November 2011

Dear grandmummy,

I honestly do not understand why tmr's paper can't be brought forward sooner. I've already enjoyed a lot this week and after tmr it's like it won't be fun anymore :(

Anyw, if you're wondering about nenek, which I doubt that any of you are because afterall she's my grandma and not yours, she isn't getting better. All of us are just so worried for her and it's really weird because despite her age, she's been well a few years back, until now.

I haven't really been close to her and as of late I'm starting to understand what they meant when they say: You'll never learn to appreciate someone until they're gone. When my maternal grandad past away, it was pretty sudden. I couldn't remember because it was a very very long time ago. All I know is, no matter how ready you are to see someone leave, it will be just as painful.

Its not as if i've ever been rude to her cus afterall, a grandma's love is stronger to that of a mother's. I don't know to what extend it is true but nenek really pampered most of us heh. I think if she were rich she'd buy us all the things we would want in the world!

I miss her already. I miss her cooking, her voice and everything else. Everytime I come to visit, she's asleep. Too weak to even move, maybe a little. I recently stop visiting her because when I look at her, I just couldn't bear seeing her like that. I wish that I would be able to take some of her pain so that she won't have to suffer so much. I really do. It sounds cheesy but I guess it's something someone would do if they're relative is in that position.

I know you wouldn't believe me when I say this but I hate seeing people suffer, be it physically or mentally. Even if I hate you, I just don't like seeing people go through pain. You might think that i'm trying to act angel-ly wtv. Maybe i'm just being nice? Better than not caring at all at least.

I miss you already nek. I hope that the next time I visit, you'll be able to open your eyes and take a glance of all of us before going to sleep again.
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