Words don't flow out of my mouth as easily as when I type them. Like a composer who meddles with ways on how to write the perfect song, I seek refuge by expressing my feelings through writing.
I'm heartbroken. A non scientific term that as a nurse, was taught to not use because how can a heart be physically broken? But when it feels like your heart is getting heavier and palpitating even harder every second and then it finally sinks to the bottom of your stomach, how else would you call it?
Pain. Nothing but pain. Pain on your chest from taking in too much emotional struggles all at once. Pain from throbbing headaches. Pain in your neck from multiple failed attempts at swallowing tears and sore eyes from tugging them a little too roughly.
Anger, knowing that genuine words are left unacknowledged and unappreciated. And sad, from disappointment of the outcome.
So many words and yet not one other person can fully understand what it is that I'm feeling.
But if it makes it any easier, I've got one word to sum it all.
Regret.
.
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