Realizing That Nursing Isn't For Me

Thursday, 11 January 2018
I've contemplated writing about my job for a long time. There are probably some of you who wouldn't agree with what I have to say but do keep in mind that this is my platform where I'd express my innermost thoughts.

Being a nurse for two years has definitely not expose me to every kind of challenge there is in nursing and also in the working world - but here's my two cents. 

You've probably read about the struggles of being a nurse and before you even begin to cringe and ponder if they are accurate, well, they are. 

On most days, things like having to hold our bladder, not being able to go for breaks at all, working for more than 5 consecutive days (if I may add, for at least 9 hours a day) are almost (emphasis on almost) the least of our problems. 

The list goes on and I can't even begin to comprehend how exhausting it is. I wish I could say that in years to come, I'd be immune to any kind of problem being thrown at me. Unfortunately, given how emotionally driven I am as a person, small things affect me one way or another. I'd like to think that words won't hurt as much as sticks and stones do, but dealing with patients (and a couple of co-workers) who belittles you on a regular basis does some thing to a person. 

BUT. That's probably just me, and it is an insecurity I've had for a long time but lets not get into that. 

The biggest challenge I've ever had to face as a nurse would be the fact that nurses always come last

If you think about it, we are constantly putting others before ourselves. Emptying our bladders and filling our stomach would have to wait because it either interferes with medication rounds, other patients calling and/or fulfilling doctor's orders.

I'm not a perfect nurse. In fact, I'm far from perfect. More often than not, I struggle through busy shifts with little or no breaks. If that doesn't sound convincing enough, I've pretty much lost count of the amount of family gatherings I had to miss because of my conflicting working schedules.

Words truly cannot describe how much nurses have dedicated a huge portion of their everyday lives to their jobs.

I think it is safe to say, that without a doubt, this profession has finally taken a toll on me.

If there was something that the people closest to me and I could agree on, is that I've been unhappy lately. And it was the kind of unhappiness you know that wouldn't be temporary if you don't do something about it.

It's exhausting - having to work a 9-12 hour shift and putting others before yourself - and then leaving work with no compassion left to give.

It's a tad frustrating on how they try to glamorize this profession. No doubt that the ability to touch someone else's life is an amazing thing, but know this, not everyone appreciates what we do.

Everyday, I come home exhausted and all in all, I don't feel content.

Of course, out of the many difficult patients I have, there'll be a couple nice ones - and those are the people who will always make it worthwhile. BUT, for how long more?

I still believe that nursing is an honorable profession. But at the end of the day, it came with an expense - sacrificing more time with the ones I love, my happiness and possibly, my sanity - and that, to me at least, is not worth it.

Perhaps I'm not as passionate as I once was and therefore, not the same person I was before. Perhaps I'm sensitive. Perhaps I don't know how to handle difficult situations.

Perhaps, it's     just     me

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