Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Yknow, the routine of changing pads 4-5 times a day is really very tiring and its so friggin sickening when boys find it interesting. Bloodyhell. I didnt go to school today because of stomach cramps. I really feel like going to the doctor but for what right ?

I've been having bad feelings about stuffs lately. Especially when it comes to Boyfriend. I'm always worried that my parents might bump into us if we walk together or something.

Its really a sad thing that I cant tell my parents about this. I think I'm closer to my parents more than my friends closer to theirs, if you know what I mean. Which kinda makes me feel different. I can really communicate with my parents well & I'm sure its natural when I dont understand them or think the subject we talk about is abit unfair to me. But whatever problems I have with my friends, I get to share it with them and especially my mum. But whenever I'm not happy with somethings in my relationship with Boyfriend and I know I cant tell him cause it'll be too complicated, I cant rely on anyone cause in the first place, my parents dont allow me to have boyfriends.

I really do not expect them to like be happy with the fact that I'm attached. But if possible, I just want them to be happy that I finally found someone who understands me the most. Fine, I'm still schooling and studies are still important now. But what's a life without taking risks right ?

I have to admit that Boyfriend can be quite proud sometimes & yes, his imperfect. But its his imperfections that made me fell in love with him.

I dont think I can take it anymore. All those lying to my parents just to meet him. Its just not me. I can take other stupid risks but lying to my parents ? I dont think I can do it anymore.

But despite whatever, I still love boyfriend. And if my parents were to find out and if we would have to break up, it'll be them who broke my heart. Not him. And yeah, I deserve it.

I wanted to write something about the "People Change" sorta shit but heh. Enough of that.

To whom it may concern: Stop taking advantage of people. I've had enough. What you did has not affect me yet. But before it does, let me make this clear. Do not ever make up a stupid lie and spread it to everyone else so that it makes me look bad, again. I nay not be a good friend either. But at least I dont make up rumours to make someone feel bad despite how much I hate that person.

It's amazing what you can hide, just by putting on a smile.

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