Over Thinking Ruins You

Hi everyone. 

It's the time of the month again. I just really hope that it's my period because I am fucking late (not preggers) and not that I wanna blame my raging hormones but I couldn't seem to figure out the trigger which is causing me to over think too much. 

I have always been an overthinker. And I have never been good at blogging about my feelings. You guys read about how I spend my day with wonderful people but there's more to it which are just so darn hard to explain. Not that I've been depressed and if people were to ask me what's wrong with me, I honestly can't think of an answer because nothing bad happened to me recently. I think. My mind is just constantly making up possibilities of what may happen in the future. 

I just wanna be careful and prepared for the worst that could happen. It's really hard to live for the moment because when that moment ends, I don't wanna be disappointed. I wanna be like "okay we all know that this day would come, might as well be prepared to get hurt and shut all my doors and never let anyone in". I'm still having a hard time not regretting people in my life who used to make me happy. Like what must things change? Why can't they just stay in my life forever. Yeap, pretty much learned the hard way that nothing is permanent.

I hate my mind sometimes.