Saturday, 13 September 2014

Weekend Woes


I have always been aware of how little readers I have but I still try my best to get my points across anyways. I don't know if I'm saying this because I'm stressed nor do I know how many people will agree with me on this but anyways, here goes. 

I'm currently at that point of time in my life where I just feel, lost. 

I entered polytechnic loving doing what I do but somehow rather, it just doesn't feel that way anymore. I say this here rather than to tell anyone because they're gonna say things like "when you graduate, you're gonna realize that it's all worth it" but like what Brandon said from Easy A, it's like I'm being suffocated, and sure we can sit and fantasize all we want about how things are going to be different one day, but this is today and it sucks. 

I grew up thinking that future financial security is one of the most important things - even if you have hate what you do. It all seemed manageable at first but now, everyday before work, I feel more afraid of screwing up than actually caring for people and I just don't want to feel that way now and for the next three years. 

I wanna do something I love and quite frankly speaking, I've met people who love what they do. I saw a movie once which quoted: I'd rather do nothing and be happy, than to do something that I don't love and at this point right now, not doing what I do makes me happy. 

We all know that's all a fantasy and we know that doing nothing leads us nowhere. But I strongly believe that we all exist to do what we love, and a wise man once said, if you love your job, you don't have to work for the rest of your life. 

There's a $32, 000 penalty if I were to ever give up. I can't decide if that day when the hospital decided to take me in was the best or worst day of my life. So for that, and just for that, I'm not gonna give up. 

Here's to serve as a reminder for anyone, especially myself, that is to choose a path you love because I learned that over the past few years that happiness is much more important than wealth. 

Maybe one day when I'm old, I'm gonna look back and realize how extremely impractical I was but again, this is today and it sucks. 

*edit* 
I came across typicalben's blog after posting this blog post so if you need a somewhat similar view from someone influential, click here :) 

Ending off with a quote on my desk


Have a great weekend lovelies :) 

1 comment:

  1. I was in the same boat as you! But at least, you knew what you are doing. When I got into Poly doing my Engineering course, people keep saying what a great course I got and how great I was going to become an engineer. BUT....I had no idea what I was doing with engineering! I don't know and hated everything that I had to learn!

    At least your attachment gives you some experiences with what is going to happen once you graduated. My attachment was in school and I had to design and create things, which I have no skill at! I sux BIG time!

    My current job was not my first choice either. It was pure luck that I got it and became good at. There are days when I keep thinking that its time that I change job or look into something better. But my comfortless refuses to budge and here I am 11 years on!

    I hope you will get lucky as me and will learn to love and get to be good at your job. At times, you need to have more faith in yourself and learn to love who you are and who you are going to be. Nothing else should matter ;)

    ReplyDelete