Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Crap


You'll know that I don't usually blog in the middle of the week especially during the school term, but if I do, something really great or bad came up. And I hate to say that it's definitely not something good. 

People tell me that I have the tendency of giving in too much - that I'm too nice or that I forgive easily. I hate to admit this but they're true. What I meant when I say that I'm too nice (because based on my attitude, I really am not), I can't bear leaving people no matter how shitty they are. 

Reason being is that I know how it feels having people leave me. I'm aware of my flaws and it would mean a lot if people would be able to accept me for who I am while in return, I'll excuse their flaws also. Everyone has got a different personality and attitude and from what I learned is that we can't force people to change who they are, so might as well adapt to it. 

Very stupid statement, I know. Which brings me to my next point. 

People step on me a lot and it's prolly because of this bad habit I have of just going with the flow with other people's attitudes/personality. I mean yeah, sometimes it get's on my nerves and I would talk it out to other people but at the end of the day, it doesn't change them. I would be mad if it was someone I barely knew - like some loser I met online who treated me like a rebound and then leave. But I have to admit, it's really predictable and frankly, easy to get over. What I can't stand is when my own friends, eh no, close friends, practically my homies/brothers/sisters/wtv, treats me like garbage.
Obviously no one likes being treated like crap and what I hate most is when it involves the people I'm closest with. I guess sometimes the closer someone is to us, the lesser we expect them to be able to hurt us. It's disappointing and frustrating all at once and it's the kind of feeling where you just wanna scream and cry and ergh! 

I know what you're thinking, why don't just talk things out? 
The main reason is that I would tend to get heated up and it'll become a big fuss. But seriously though, it's really screwed up when a close friend does not acknowledge their mistakes. You begin to wonder if they're even a good friend to begin with, moreover whether they're worth fighting for. 

The sad thing is that I really thought that I was finally done with friends-related shenanigans but I guess not. 

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